Golf is a dirty sport
by charrybarry
Summary: The twins are dragged on a golfing trip and Kaoru decides to drop "innocent" comments during it. Serving a few very jealous people. Warnings: Hikaru/Kaoru and Mori/OC Lemon, lime, and LOTS of golfing innuendos XD Oneshot


**Disclaimer**: Trust me. If I owned even a fraction of Hikaru, and Kaoru Hitachiin I would see to it that they would be handcuffed to each other 24/7! ^_^ A special shout out to** Penguin070594**! I put a special surprise in there just for you. *smirks*

Oh! And by the way, just for reference, truthfully, I have no clue whether or not the twins are good golfers. It just fit's the story better. XD WARNING: A lot of golfing innuendos

--

"Why again are we going to this Hikaru?"

"Because Kaoru… we want to see the rest of the host club embarrass themselves." Hikaru explained. The smirk he wore was plain on his face.

"They don't need us to do that."

Hikaru laughed. "True. But its always fun to watch from the sidelines."

"But Hikaru!" Kaoru whined, slumping his shoulders. Suddenly, he felt a soft pair of fingertips grasping his chin.

"Come on, Kaoru." Hikaru purred bringing their faces closer. "If you do this, there may be a reward involved."

Kaoru blushed momentarily, and playfully grabbed Hikaru's shoulders to push him away. "Damn you and your temptation skills."

"Glad to know I have an admirer."

"Whoever said I was admiring you?"

Hikaru glared jokingly. "You'll pay for that one you little brat."

"I think you have it the other way around dear brother."

"Well we'll just see on the golf course wont we?"

"Wont we indeed."

--

Later all the hosts were gathered at the first tee. All of the hosts were dressed in similar attire based on the standard golfing outfits they had seen before, save for the twin's who's were slightly more fashionable because their mother had insisted on making their golfing outfits ever since they began taking lessons when they were 11. Even Haruhi was dressed the same from the cause of the king declaring that she still must keep her identity a secret.

Mori brought his boyfriend along with him as well. Needless to say most of the hosts were surprised, besides Hunny who more than likely already knew. His name was Pen, and he got along with the hosts rather well, so none of them had any reason to make him leave. And even if they did, none of them really wanted to go up to Mori and tell him so.

They drew straws to find out the order of who was hitting off first. Hikaru, Kaoru, and Pen were the last three so they decided to sit in the golf cart where the shade was while they waited for their turn.

"So, Pen. How long have you and Mori-sempai been together?" Kaoru asked casually. Pen took a sip of his water.

"Oh, awhile now." He told them, a smile spread wide across his cheeks.

"I'm surprised he never told us anything." Kaoru mused.

"I'm not. He never says anything in the first place." Hikaru chuckled before taking a long gulp of his water. Just then, Kaoru looked ahead and saw Mori happening to be readying his club at that very moment. An idea sprung in his head.

"_Whoa, check out the size of his putter." _Kaoru observed. Hikaru did a spit take, and Pen almost fell out of his seat to the grass.

"WHAT?!" They both demanded simultaneously. Kaoru stared at them, wide eyed and innocent.

"Look." He ordered, just as Mori took his swing. _"It's huge." _He told them, and Hikaru bit his lip, before he heard his brother speak again. _"Ah, but the hit was too strong. I better go help him with his problem." _

As they watched Kaoru make his way to Mori, both Hikaru and Pen were making serious thoughts of retreating to Tamaki's corner of woe. "Hikaru." An angered voice said, along with him feeling a firm grip on his shoulder from behind him. He turned around to see Pen scowling down at him. "What's up." He demanded.

"Like I know!" Hikaru shot back. They both looked at Kaoru now, who had finally made his way over to Mori.

"Dude, _you really whacked the hell out of that sucker." _They heard him say.

"Ugh." Hikaru groaned, banging his head on the cushioned seat.

"Your boyfriend better watch it." Pen warned.

"I know." He mumbled in reply.

--

Three turns later and Hikaru and Kaoru were the last ones to go. Hikaru allowed Kaoru to take his shot first, out of a rare moment of courtesy, and the rest of the group was waiting by the golf carts where they had just been awhile ago.

Quickly Hikaru noticed that Kaoru was having trouble. Which was strange seeing that they were more than average skilled golfers. His hands kept fidgeting where he was holding the club and he was taking a hell of a lot more than a few practice swings.

"Kaoru? Are you okay? Are you nervous?" Hikaru asked, slightly confused.

Kaoru made a frustrated face, and sighed. "No, I'm good its just…" He adjusted his hands again and groaned. "_My hands are just so sweaty that I can't get a good grip." _He said with a partially seductive tone. The older brother gulped as he felt his cheeks heat up from the sexy comment. And good thing for Kaoru's situation, his brother was too distracted to find it suspicious that just after seeing him blush, he wiped his hands on his pants and took a perfect swing. "Okay, I'm good. Your turn Hikaru."

Hikaru gaped as he watched his twin retreat back to the grass where all the others were waiting. But none the less took his swing.

--

Mori was up again. And from some sick force of nature, he had asked Kaoru to give him tips on his shot. Pen and Hikaru were boring eyes into their backs as a result of their tension. But neither teens seemed to notice. Much, much earlier in the day Tamaki had foolishly got his head hit by a golfing club, and made Kyoya come with him to help him get medical attention.

"Look, just _lift your head and spread your legs." _Hikaru bit back another cry of frustration. He looked over at Mori's boyfriend who was now in the fetal position.

"I know it's not your fault Hikaru…" He heard Pen grumble out into his knees. "But I will seriously murder you if your boyfriend doesn't cut the shit… soon."

The sound of a golf ball being hit was heard from the distance. And a few seconds afterwards, they heard Kaoru speak. "See, _you have a nice stroke. But your follow through leaves a lot to be desired." _Pen fumed, then glared daggers at Hikaru. He reached for his golf club behind him, and the eldest Hitachiin stared at him fearfully.

"Whoa whoa, easy Pen. I-I'll go handle it." He covered. Pen only glared harder.

"You better." He threatened. With that Hikaru ran to where his younger brother was standing.

"Hello Hikaru. Just in time! We're about to go." Kaoru informed him.

"But doesn't Tamaki go right before us?" Hikaru asked.

Kaoru started laughing. "Hikaru, did you NOT see Tamaki get hit in the head a few holes ago?"

Hikaru's eyes widened as he remembered the scene in fact. "Oh right." Apparently he had been out of it the entire time just focused on getting jealous of his brother's flirtatious acting with their sempai, because he also just noticed at that moment, that they were almost done with the 17th hole.

"_Damn, I missed the hole again." _Kaoru muttered.

That was it.

That was all Hikaru could handle before his wrist snapped out to grab onto Kaoru's and drag him into the forest that surrounded the golf course.

"Hikaru?! What're you doing?!" Kaoru cried struggling to break through the hold his twin had on him.

"Don't worry Kaoru, everything will be just fine." He said, with a very mischievous smirk on his face.

Meanwhile, the four left were watching this little scene unfold. And Pen thought; _If they're gonna get something like that out of this golfing trip, then sure as hell I am too!_

Straight after that thought he tackled Takashi to the ground kissing him roughly. Obviously Mori was surprised at first, but didn't fight back. When they started grabbing at each other's clothes, the two left; Hunny and Haruhi, looked at one another, wondering if it would have been a better idea to go with Kyoya and Tamaki to take care of the king's injuries.

--

Hikaru made sure to drag his brother just far enough into the trees so that they could no longer see the 4 of their friends anymore. Once he had accomplished that he shoved Kaoru to the nearest tree, pinning him there by the shoulders and practically shoving his tongue down his twin's throat. The younger's eyes widened in shock but otherwise kissed back, wrapping his arms tightly around the elder's neck. He let Hikaru's tongue gain dominance rather quickly, but pulled away sooner than normal. Even so, both of them were already panting.

"H-Hikaru… are we a little impatient today?" He asked, trying desperately not to laugh. The said teen's eyes bulged out of his head, before biting Kaoru's neck. Hard. "OW! What the hell was that for!?"

"What was that for?! Kaoru what the fuck was all the bullshit you were pulling out there?!" Hikaru demanded, his face red from a mix of lust, and jealousy.

Not much to his surprise, his little brother smirked. "Oh! That? You noticed."

"Yes. I noticed." He said with a hint of sarcasm while pinning him harder to the tree. "You're just lucky you had me, keeping Mori's boyfriend from murdering you while you were putting!"

Kaoru chuckled. "Well, tell him that next time it could be him if he wants it." Hikaru glared.

"Don't you dare. The only one you should be doing that stuff to is me."

"I did." Kaoru said before correcting himself. "I do." To prove his point, he started to kiss at Hikaru's neck and rolling his hips upward into his. Hikaru groaned and threaded his fingers into his brothers hair, who took that as a signal to run his hands up Hikaru's shirt, playing with his abdomen and chest, occasionally dragging his nails down some of the flesh.

Hikaru gave a final grunt of impatience after a couple of minutes, and brought Kaoru's head up to slam their lips together while starting to undo his brother's pants. Kaoru helped in the process, and soon both boys were bare legged, and were working on each others shirts. Once Kaoru had Hikaru's off, he began to play with the already hardened nubs of his nipples.

"God Kaoru." Hikaru gasped.

"Hikaru." Kaoru called, surprisingly calm, but his cheeks were pink with need.

"What?" Hikaru responded, his voice was raspy.

"Get my pants." Kaoru ordered, Hikaru only scowled, and started up more ministrations, on his jaw and neck, while growling;

"No way."

"Hikaru." Said Kaoru, more insistently.

"What." Hikaru said lifting his head frustrated. This time Kaoru kneeled by himself to ruffle through his trousers to find some lube he stashed in there before they left.

"You knew this was going to happen." Hikaru accused playfully.

"It's impossible to know the future dummy. I simply hoped for it." Kaoru said coyly, while squirting some onto his fingers, and began pumping Hikaru's member. The eldest let out a hearty moan and buried his head into Kaoru's neck. But Kaoru didn't have this in his main plans so he merely made sure the his brother's dick was well lubricated before he carefully wrapped his legs around Hikaru's waist. Hikaru raised his head after this, knowing from the other times before what to do.

"Ready?" He asked, putting the tip at his entrance. He felt Kaoru nod into his shoulder. Slowly at first he inserted his shaft, and only waited a few seconds for his brother to adjust before he began thrusting. Trusting that Kaoru was well used to the feeling of being stretched open like this.

"Nngh… Hikaru…" Kaoru moaned. "Harder." He gasped beginning to plant kisses along his brother's neck. Hikaru, thankfully, was in no mood do disagree and obliged to his brother's requests.

In a matter of time… something was hit. "Ah! Hikaru!" Kaoru yelled, probably so loud it was heard by the four who may or may not still be on the course outside of the small forest. He pulled Hikaru closer by the legs, making his other half moan slightly in response.

"K-Kaoru… I… I can't." He cursed before he came inside him. At the feeling of the warm effect taking over his body, Kaoru came straight after.

Both boys laid themselves down again the dirt afterwards. Not giving a damn that once they decided to meet up with the others, they would be completely filthy and their mother would have a fit.

"Hikaru." Kaoru said. Said person smiled at the sound of his name whispered by his lover beside him.

"Hmm?"

There was a moment of silence, before felt Kaoru's ass on his stomach again, his eyes flew opened, surprised.

"I'm glad I came anyway."

--

**Author's note: -_- **Oh, god. You happy Pen? It sucks. But, I am deeply sorry it took me so long DX I was distracted by art, and then my computer broke, and then I got swine flu! Fate was just NOT on my side! And I apologize to all those readers out there that wasted their time with this crap. I really am not happy with how this turned out.


End file.
